As a mother, editor and maternity blogger, I know very well and first-hand that there are few topics and experiences as complex, bipolar and profound as parenting and everything that it encompasses : from how to do it, the experiences we live , and the feelings and teachings that it leaves us.
I also know for sure something that I have talked about on several occasions: motherhood is not rosy, but this does not mean that it is total darkness . It’s becoming more and more common for bloggers to talk about real motherhood, and that’s fine. But also, we have to remember and repeat this: not everything is tiredness and sacrifice, because motherhood also gives us daily moments of happiness .
In those first few weeks we are faced with a reality shock that no one told us about or warned us about, precisely because it is so dark and confusing, that many of us feel guilty for not feeling that being a mother is the best thing in the world at that time , and We decided not to talk about it.
Fortunately, it is becoming more and more common to read experiences and see more realistic photographs of motherhood , which show us its lights and shadows, which tell us about those difficult moments, in which we feel that we are not doing things right or that we feel lost. , and that help us feel less alone during moments like this , knowing that we are not the only ones who go through it.
But also, with the passing of the months we realize that motherhood is not like postpartum (and luckily it is not). Of course, other challenges and situations arrive that demand a different effort from us, and that lead us to talk about all the sacrifices that being a mother implies.
And although I am completely in favor of talking about motherhood in a real way, I do not like this tendency to paint ourselves as selfless and self-sacrificing women who have left everything to choose to be mothers . Because reality is not like that and we cannot summarize or define motherhood only as that.
It is true, motherhood is not how it is seen on social networks and many mothers are tired of hearing or seeing that everything is rosy, but we should not fall into saying and repeating to ourselves (and to others) that everything is tired, pain and sacrifices .
I personally find it absurd to try to make a comparison between having children and not having children, simply because there is no way or way to compare them. They are completely different life experiences, which naturally provide us with different types of happiness .
The “problem” with motherhood is that a lot of that happiness doesn’t sound as bombastic as traveling the world, and it’s not as easy to capture as those stunning photos we see on Instagram. But if we stop to think about it for a moment, having children gives us much more than what is seen with the naked eye or in a photograph.
Only when we become mothers can we realize this and understand the value of all those small but daily moments of love and joy that motherhood gives us . A hug around your neck, a smile full of small teeth, a comment full of innocence or illusion, small hands that caress your face, a sweet little voice that says “I love you”. And the list goes on and on.
Being a mother is something great, although sometimes difficult to describe , but I always tell my friends without children, that yes, it is very tiring most of the time, but that all that tiredness is compensated in happiness and joy, that no other life experience can give you . There is simply nothing that compares to having children.
From my point of view, happiness, although it is possible to capture it in a photograph with a big smile, is not limited to that alone . And for that, I would like us to avoid making those comments of sacrifice and negativity between us and stop using them as a warning to mothers-to-be or new mothers as well .
Let’s be realistic, because it’s not about painting motherhood as a dream experience, but let’s not continue to perpetuate that idea of self-sacrificing and self-sacrificing mothers either. Let’s not minimize those great emotions and moments that improve and fill your heart when you have children .
And as I said a long time ago: real motherhood may not be glamorous and we will not always look radiant or feel full of energy, but it is certainly one of the most complete and beautiful experiences that life can give us.